Love IS Life !

Orginally Posted:5 June 2009

Love IS life, but living it as a lover of life is what it's about not so much who your living it with but HOW!So I'm finding at the moment that Im really having to question my perspective, my thinking and even how Im going about things in each moment.The other night Andrew and I went to the cinema, you know the place, that if you eat raw, the cinema seats get bigger and bigger with each visit. ;o) Now if the bigger seats weren't enough joy...I realised that the more weight I release now the more perspective Im getting into how I changed to accommodate my growing morbidly obese size and seeing the painful reasons of why I had to.Being so obese I did things in a way for survival, a harsh realist mind-set I adopted as I got heavier. I acted, thought and even felt in ways to protect and minimalised the damage to the over-pressured body. Today I am reminded how something as simple as walking down some stairs was so much of a struggle for that once really obese me. Now at 36, Im not that old but as my weight increased so did the stress on my joints. I began walking down stairs using only the left foot as my leading foot because it was the stronger of the two and then I'd put the right foot onto the same step. So generally speaking two feet on one stair which made for a safer option but a slow walk down !As we were leaving the cinema, I walked down the stairs behind Andrew as I did I witnessed him then myself...Hey? What are you doing? I watched Andrew walking down faster and easier than I was doing it..I though "Huh?", how's he doing that, its not like me? What am I doing? So I tried like him..just one foot per step. It felt physically werid to be moving down stairs so fast then BAM! Emotionally all the struggles of my weight, the stair struggles all came flooding back. How I remembered my "stair dread" and why I walked down stairs this way, even finding ramps/lifts if I could. The pain of being so different to others as my poor but loyal knees grating/cracking under the pressure of my weight. The memories of joint pain I had, that constant reminder about the damage I was doing. A fear and worry I couldn't shake like the out-of-control upwardly creeping weight.So what did I do next in all this tormenting flash-back? I said to Andrew "wait, I so gotta show you something".So I ran back up the flight of stairs and gave him a full-demonstration of the "Before Raw Lou" stair show- The slow 2 feet per step shuffle and finished with the "Now Raw Lou" version of the new and improved one foot, on one step discovery. I was so happy to be moving down faster and happier without ANY pain.Thanks to my new all raw life style, I've now shed nearly 40kgs/80lbs and with this release, those days of knee pain and joint stress are just older memories of a life in survival. As today learning to run, jump and play like a child again is both the same time utterly scary but Way to blissful not to do it. Both Andrew and I have noticed that as I shed my old sad self, we are getting out and about a lot more, we have more living energy to live it!I am working hard on understanding that I'm not that as large morbidly obese weight anymore. It's hard to see difference with the mind only, I just don't see it, or feel it. But thankfully the more I get out and experiencing loving life again in a physical way, the more I can move and act in this ever-changing body of mine. I am seeing more my body as it is today and this is gifting me with being able to wittness it more consciously. I am so grateful to slowly release the survival mind-set of life as I remember once again that I now can love life again like I did as a child and if thats not enough I can even choose HOW !! ;o)Love and blessings to you. May you find your peace of mind xxxx
Tags: life, love, raw

Raw Food was the Key that opened the Prison Door

Originally Posted:30 April 2009

Well if you know me you'll know I love to push conventional boundries including my own. So my lastest game to play (oh and it keeps me out of trouble on our trips to the city) is deciding where we want to eat and then phoning ahead to ask the chef for the most perfect raw meal EVER that they can create. Its so fun! Here's an example of my lastest antics. Last night we were off to the city to see Tim Michin a Aussie comedian. So in the car drive on the way up I have 2 hrs to play/plan. We work out where we want to eat. We pick a hotel next to the concert hall, where we are seeing Tim's show.I call up the Duxton hotel, and I ask " Do you have a restaurant? " Yeah it's agoo, I can put you through?" The phones on speaker, so I debate while waiting with Andrew whats a magoo? The only McGoo I know is Andrew's nick name that others have called him in the past! Laughing away...The McGoo restaurant answers. "Hello Grill Resturant"! Ahhhh! A Grill not agoo!!So my fun continues! Do you have salads? I explain we want to come for dinner if they can make us a raw meal. Being an internation hotel, the Australasian speaking woman, just boggled at my request. I found out they served grill and asian foods. But after few kind trips to chat with the chef, she came back with "of course we can make a salad up to your request". So you just want all raw salad? with this I said "yeah! thats it!" So we booked and at the end ,she added do you want steam vegetables as well? LOL So I went into it again explaining raw very simply even saying look just anything in its natural state, grown straight from the earth, I'll eat it just like that! We like it simple and uncooked, raw! I promise I WAS nice!!We got to the "grill resturant" and had the best service, the best food and with Andrew as my date the best company too! It was so special. A beautiful salad each and then a platter of fresh fruit to share hmmmm. It was all so perfect, in that moment!! Simply full of raw contentment. Over dinner as I watched others eat steaks and remembered the horror of having to order a meal off the menu, with the mental thoughts that this is maybe my last meal, ordering with as a food addict is a very serious affair. I talked with Andrew about my freedom and relief I've found today. I now have realised the torment of abundance without restrictions. This for me was ordering anything off the menu and the later spiraling down into what I had hurt my body with and a meal closer to obesity hell. That huge choice, was my prison. A werid perspective, I know but true today. People talk to me about the restrictions of raw food, but I have to say there is another perspective here!! I really took pleasure in seeing a loosening and releasing from that food addiction. That personal hell, that I just couldn't explain when I was in it as I was so busy acting it out. Last night I saw clearly the demons I had tried to house and the isolating behaviours that distracted me, taking me away from my life, my body and my spirit.At the end of the perfect meal, I said to Andrew "oh why have we not thought to try the internation hotels for meals sooner?" Their level of service and hospitality to cater for you is heaven sent! So I've made a resolve instead of just walking into food places. Im going to plan a bit and call round first, as it really worked this time, plus its a fun adventure to try to explain raw over the phone! And lastly a touching gratitude for the Raw food KEY that opened my Cell door into a new found abundance of living its just simply RAW.

100 Days of 100% Raw

Orginally Posted:19Feb2009

oh! 100 Days raw 100% is so close to finish for us, I can taste it!!About 3 Months ago we set this crazy goal, Inspired by this wonderfully fun site by a Living angel Berry Bunny (you may have heard of it RAWFU??) ;o) She has this 100 day challenge,which at the time I thought rediculously hard only cos it was one I was not sure I was able to pull off. A week maybe raw yeah!!So it all started one night...after Im sure, a day off work, sick and tired of my life, which would have been spent with crying sessions about a bleak life, worry of health concerns and sprinkled all through with an underlining horrible attitude ( that would be hate)towards myself, my weight and the helplessness of it all. Praying to god "someone's got to help me, Im killing myself slowly here HEEELLLPP!!!" After a challenging past, then a lifetime of starving, trying to conform to an "acceptable weight, where I could be loved" resulted in just getting morbidly obese and shockingly depressed, fearing food and being so hungry all at the same time. I was exhausted I've tried it ALL nothing work for me, I lack what I thought then was a will ?? Today I see I suffered malnutrition!So I sat down with Andrew (my partner of 15+yrs) and said you wanna try this? Ive been researching over the last month about it its called raw eating, a lifestyle, it really make sense...Going back to nature, its simple, just like we want our life?He laughed, hmm really he said? I too have been looking into this raw food thingWhat I said? (synchronicity * Warning* A symptom aquired after being together too many years! ) So we set a pact together that night, we just did it, we figured we had nothing to lose except our old life, which we could always find and pick up where we left off...I said it will be till your birthday!!! I realised OMG THAT is so full-on. Raw for that long,??? thoughts littered with fear..what will we eat, are we going to be hungry? So only fruit,vegies,sprouts and nuts Then we looked at each other cracked up laughing and decided, lets just do it!!! So we stopped thinking and just DID. So that night We held each others hand and jumped, two feet into the deep end of the pool! 100% RAW (no matter what) And what a swim!! Today is Andrew's Birthday !!! What seemed like such an enomously crazy goal till his birthday is TODAY!! its here! And again Im having crying sessions of a different sort today!!Yesterday in the city on our way to the organic store, we found ourself in traffic under a train bridge. Now if you find ourself in this situation, you get to wish if the train goes over...And well it did.. and like ALL the times before, I went to pull out my stock wish and froze..What? I wish to be happy, healthy and a "normal" weight..oh what? I have these now or at least these wishes are already coming true. Reality hit me hard in a good way!! So yesterday I wished a NEW wish!!! ;o) and today I cried with blissful joy for this!Thank you for reading, and being here at Rawfu!! It really does mean a happier world to me!!

Originally posted:12 Feb 2009

Im so happy, its cooler here today, what a relief as I have just started *Warning *(offensive language--> ) "EXERCISE" yesterday. I have the best gym grade elliptical crosstrainer, he's beautiful. But my relationship with him is not..I have been having this love, hate relationship with him since Andrew said he could stay 1.5yrs ago. As my weight releasing has slowed more now, Im thinking energy expenditure, is now on the horizon, as the food aspect, being all raw is just brilliant. (which is no greater surprise than to me ;o) ) And infact each day, I am getting more excited over fruit and vegies. This new love affair is helped by the fact that my tastebuds have gone to heaven after learning what "real food" is all about.Who would have thought that when I was told by a friend repeatly over the years that don't worry...you will want to be healthy one of these day and your weight will just fall off you...back then I just nodded my head in agreement so wishing upon his words.. but inside (shaking my head NO )...hmmmYEAH you wanna bet...a serial overeater, food addict whos been overweight since she was 7 years old...Ha! As likely at those flying pigs...Oh I am so happy to be WRONG, as Ive seen it those pigs do fly!!!!!So exercise is my next demon to master...even the word "exercise" is like fingernails down a chalkboard. But that's just the mind as the body does loves to move...Learning to turn off the mind, so the body can feel the joy of movement is where the real challenge is at, but a frontier Im undertaking. I have had little connection or even respect for this body of mine and really now think its time to look at this lack of relationship. Yes this attitude that I have with that "E" word needs it self exercising or is that exorcising.Now it ain't from lack of effort, I even once tried to substitute the "E" word to the word "play" , but there is more to it than that I think ! Now don't get me wrong, I am an exerciser maybe a lazy one with a really bad attitude but I love to swim, play with the dogs and have a fun game of killer racketball but its the habit of "E" that I haven't managed to knit into the fabric of my life yet. So my goal is to challenge this and shatter the ideas I have about exercise like the bad attitude and ideas I once had about eating good food....It's time to look at how did I manage to loved myself enough to gift this magical Raw food upon myself. I want again help this body to Sing a little more. I'm going to start investigating my body in relationship to movement...as I know this ain't about anything really about moving that butt of mine!My idea is that we store a lot of pain, memories in the body and moving it hurts in more ways than one, but staying tuned in feeling and releasing this pain/shame is the way forward...Which dare I SAY it, Im going in to find out....... but please do send in a search party, if Im not out to celebrate the end of the RAWFU 100days!!Well, now that my green smoothie is coming to an end...I have a date with Ed, yep Ed the elliptical, he's taking me dancing !! ;o) Thanks for reading and Blessings of LOVE xxx