Originally posted:12 Feb 2009

Im so happy, its cooler here today, what a relief as I have just started *Warning *(offensive language--> ) "EXERCISE" yesterday. I have the best gym grade elliptical crosstrainer, he's beautiful. But my relationship with him is not..I have been having this love, hate relationship with him since Andrew said he could stay 1.5yrs ago. As my weight releasing has slowed more now, Im thinking energy expenditure, is now on the horizon, as the food aspect, being all raw is just brilliant. (which is no greater surprise than to me ;o) ) And infact each day, I am getting more excited over fruit and vegies. This new love affair is helped by the fact that my tastebuds have gone to heaven after learning what "real food" is all about.Who would have thought that when I was told by a friend repeatly over the years that don't worry...you will want to be healthy one of these day and your weight will just fall off you...back then I just nodded my head in agreement so wishing upon his words.. but inside (shaking my head NO )...hmmmYEAH you wanna bet...a serial overeater, food addict whos been overweight since she was 7 years old...Ha! As likely at those flying pigs...Oh I am so happy to be WRONG, as Ive seen it those pigs do fly!!!!!So exercise is my next demon to master...even the word "exercise" is like fingernails down a chalkboard. But that's just the mind as the body does loves to move...Learning to turn off the mind, so the body can feel the joy of movement is where the real challenge is at, but a frontier Im undertaking. I have had little connection or even respect for this body of mine and really now think its time to look at this lack of relationship. Yes this attitude that I have with that "E" word needs it self exercising or is that exorcising.Now it ain't from lack of effort, I even once tried to substitute the "E" word to the word "play" , but there is more to it than that I think ! Now don't get me wrong, I am an exerciser maybe a lazy one with a really bad attitude but I love to swim, play with the dogs and have a fun game of killer racketball but its the habit of "E" that I haven't managed to knit into the fabric of my life yet. So my goal is to challenge this and shatter the ideas I have about exercise like the bad attitude and ideas I once had about eating good food....It's time to look at how did I manage to loved myself enough to gift this magical Raw food upon myself. I want again help this body to Sing a little more. I'm going to start investigating my body in relationship to movement...as I know this ain't about anything really about moving that butt of mine!My idea is that we store a lot of pain, memories in the body and moving it hurts in more ways than one, but staying tuned in feeling and releasing this pain/shame is the way forward...Which dare I SAY it, Im going in to find out....... but please do send in a search party, if Im not out to celebrate the end of the RAWFU 100days!!Well, now that my green smoothie is coming to an end...I have a date with Ed, yep Ed the elliptical, he's taking me dancing !! ;o) Thanks for reading and Blessings of LOVE xxx