Love IS Life !

Orginally Posted:5 June 2009

Love IS life, but living it as a lover of life is what it's about not so much who your living it with but HOW!So I'm finding at the moment that Im really having to question my perspective, my thinking and even how Im going about things in each moment.The other night Andrew and I went to the cinema, you know the place, that if you eat raw, the cinema seats get bigger and bigger with each visit. ;o) Now if the bigger seats weren't enough joy...I realised that the more weight I release now the more perspective Im getting into how I changed to accommodate my growing morbidly obese size and seeing the painful reasons of why I had to.Being so obese I did things in a way for survival, a harsh realist mind-set I adopted as I got heavier. I acted, thought and even felt in ways to protect and minimalised the damage to the over-pressured body. Today I am reminded how something as simple as walking down some stairs was so much of a struggle for that once really obese me. Now at 36, Im not that old but as my weight increased so did the stress on my joints. I began walking down stairs using only the left foot as my leading foot because it was the stronger of the two and then I'd put the right foot onto the same step. So generally speaking two feet on one stair which made for a safer option but a slow walk down !As we were leaving the cinema, I walked down the stairs behind Andrew as I did I witnessed him then myself...Hey? What are you doing? I watched Andrew walking down faster and easier than I was doing it..I though "Huh?", how's he doing that, its not like me? What am I doing? So I tried like him..just one foot per step. It felt physically werid to be moving down stairs so fast then BAM! Emotionally all the struggles of my weight, the stair struggles all came flooding back. How I remembered my "stair dread" and why I walked down stairs this way, even finding ramps/lifts if I could. The pain of being so different to others as my poor but loyal knees grating/cracking under the pressure of my weight. The memories of joint pain I had, that constant reminder about the damage I was doing. A fear and worry I couldn't shake like the out-of-control upwardly creeping weight.So what did I do next in all this tormenting flash-back? I said to Andrew "wait, I so gotta show you something".So I ran back up the flight of stairs and gave him a full-demonstration of the "Before Raw Lou" stair show- The slow 2 feet per step shuffle and finished with the "Now Raw Lou" version of the new and improved one foot, on one step discovery. I was so happy to be moving down faster and happier without ANY pain.Thanks to my new all raw life style, I've now shed nearly 40kgs/80lbs and with this release, those days of knee pain and joint stress are just older memories of a life in survival. As today learning to run, jump and play like a child again is both the same time utterly scary but Way to blissful not to do it. Both Andrew and I have noticed that as I shed my old sad self, we are getting out and about a lot more, we have more living energy to live it!I am working hard on understanding that I'm not that as large morbidly obese weight anymore. It's hard to see difference with the mind only, I just don't see it, or feel it. But thankfully the more I get out and experiencing loving life again in a physical way, the more I can move and act in this ever-changing body of mine. I am seeing more my body as it is today and this is gifting me with being able to wittness it more consciously. I am so grateful to slowly release the survival mind-set of life as I remember once again that I now can love life again like I did as a child and if thats not enough I can even choose HOW !! ;o)Love and blessings to you. May you find your peace of mind xxxx
Tags: life, love, raw